How much of what we see everyday do we actually SEE? How much of what is going on in the world around us is wasted on eyes that are too preoccupied with some menial occurrence to bother understanding? Do you ever think that you may have seen but not really seen one of the most important things in your life? That it just passed you by when you weren't looking because you were worried about this test or that grade--tonight's plans, tomorrow's outfit? What if everyone all of a sudden started walking around with their eyes literally but also metaphorically OPEN to the world around them, willing to actually take in and comprehend what was going on? Would we finally have world peace and an end to poverty, hunger, and greed? In a perfect world I guess. But at least I can say this much: if everyone at least made an EFFORT to walk around actually seeing the things happening around them I would live in a society much more informed and educated as to what was going on in the world and I would not live in a constant fear that when people my age run the governments and businesses of the world (scary to think that this isn't so far off in the future) everything will go to shit. I would live in a world of more understanding and sympathetic people and more developed, unique personalities.
I'm scared. I'm scared that I am letting the best things in my life pass me by because I am so focused on school--getting the grade and doing the work--right now that I can't stop to appreciate the place I'm in and the people around me. I'm scared that I will let this time of discovery in my life pass me by and wake up one day with no gas left to go forth and discover myself. That I will become one of those drones who has a set schedule and does the same thing at the same time every day for the rest of my life because that is how I am told it is supposed to be and I don't have the imagination to change things for myself. Then I think about it and I'm happy that this scares me. As long as it scares me I know that I will never end up that drone. The day that I stop thinking there is something wrong with this way of life is the day that my fear will have come true. And it really is sad because its almost as if the society we live in has set us up to live like this. Dates, deadlines, assignments--all go whooshing past so quickly its hard to know where one project stops and another ends. Life moves at such a fast pace that people become married to blackberries and email because otherwise they would never be where they were supposed to be when they are supposed to be. But what if where you are supposed to be is living your life and you are stuck in some boring meeting room? You may have money, but how are you living?
Goal: find myself. Discover who I am and understand that discovery is a never ending process. I may never find "me" because I will always be changing. But as long as I'm looking, I know i'm headed in the right direction. More incoherent babblings later.
Radhi
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