It has been quite some time I guess. Or not enough. I guess that is all up to you. But things just fell together. Life started moving. Like reallllly moving. Going too fast for me to stop and take a breath and take it in and realize that it may be going to fast. Things fell into place just like I had always hoped they would. But nothing in this world is as easy as it seems. With success of any kind comes more hard work and the expectation of more success. With any new aspiration comes more work in the hopes of reaching a goal and even surpassing it. Where am I going and when will it finally be enough? Is it even worth it if one day I wake up wondering why I have spent all of this time doing what I'm doing when all I really want to do is spend the day walking around the city and soaking everything in? When was the last day you spent relaxing with someone close to you doing things like going to the aquarium or the museums or just walking around in the sun? I can tell you exactly when the last time was for me and I can also tell you it has been way too long. I promised myself early this year that I would do more things in the city of Boston and then placated myself with the excuse that since I have been doing so much these past two semesters I just haven't had the time unless I decided to stop sleeping. But is that really a valid excuse?
Someone I recently had this conversation with brought it to my attention that "If you really want to do something or love something, you usually make the time for it." Have I really become so self involved that I am not able to make time for my own simple pleasures? Or am I over thinking this. Am I prioritizing properly in the hopes that one day I will be at a point where I CAN take the time to enjoy these pleasures. But at that point will I be too late?
I think these thoughts are being prompted by the fact that I am reaching a tipping point in my balance of activities and life. I feel like I have reached the point where if I try to juggle one more ball or balance one more plate, the entire circus act is going to come tumbling down around me, and I am wondering how I got here. How the hell did I get to this point where I just feel so damn overwhelmed by it all? And why do I feel so overwhelmed? I have never had that problem in the past I usually power through it.
And that being said, this short break is now over and I'm back to the real work. Hopefully I'll find some time to breath soon but until then, I'll bid you farewell.
Radhi
