Stuck

Not quite there.
Not quite here.
Not quite in.
Not quite out.
Not quite close.
Not quite far.
Not really anywhere.
That is where I am.

Not defined.
Not undefined.

Stuck in place where I wish I knew what I was so that I can move forward but held back by forces I have no control over. Pushing and prodding trying to pull a rope here of break a link there but I can't. I've cast my die. It isn't my turn anymore. The outcome of this decision is no longer in my hands. This decision I have made is not mine alone to make. Common courtesy dictates that I wait. But how long can I wait around in a state of non definition waiting to push through the force. Waiting to move on to what is inevitably next. Something more. Something.

I'm stuck.
Waiting.
I'm not delicate.
I won't get hurt.
Just let me go.
I'll get up when I fall.

I guess it's better to know

The world throws so much noise at us.
So much excess.
So much clutter of shit we don't need.
Shit we would be better off without.
Shit.

Last weekend I came to the realization that I would rather know as soon as possible what is shit in my life and what is gold. What is worth listening to and holding on to and what I need to just cut out of my life and never really attempt to even deal with again. People, things, ideas, hopes, dreams. What do you want to deal with. What is it that you truly want in your life and what truly makes you happy? What never gives you grief or makes you think "why am I doing this?" or "why do I even hang out with these people?" If you for even one second have to question your attachment to something and if the reciprocal attachment is as strong, leave it and get out. The things you love are worth fighting for but the things that don't love you back are not.

Just my thoughts
Radhi