My insides are wild

I scream like a child
My insides went wild

Ever feel like you have this energy inside you and you can't really do anything about it? You can't control it so you can't harness it into anything useful. You can't do anything to expend it no matter how hard you try. It is just there with you in everything you do making you feel a bit jittery - a bit on edge a bit shaky a bit as if you had taken something you shouldn't have. Some people say I'm anxious, but that doesn't quite describe it. And what do I have to be anxious about? I am definitely sad. Sad that my time here in London is coming to an end. But I am also excited. Excited that I get to go home and see all of my friends and my family (even if I wish that were the vacation and I could come back to London and stay here forever). And I'm excited to go back to Boston in a little over a month and see all the people I love there too. Everything is good. But I am going out of my mind with this weird energy that I can't make go away. It's a good thing I have my friends to keep me sane....or take me out so I don't really think about it :)

Monday. See this is how jittery I am getting. I can't even remember what I did on Monday. Or at least it is taking me a second. Oh yah. Monday. Went to work. Did my thing. Then got off work, went home, and went to the gym. Mmmmmmm gym my dear friend how I have missed you these past few days. But other things have just taken priority. Like my parents being here. Getting sick. Having a kickass weekend. But it's ok. I have returned to you. I will continue to visit you quite frequently (with the exception of my parisian weekend) so as not to look like a fatass/whale/whateveryoucallit when I get home. That would be unfortunate. After the gym I headed home, showered, skyped with mommy :) and then made some dinner. At which point I got a rather adamant text from Shahar demanding I stop wallowing in my room and go out. They were already at Stanhope and it was already around 10 and I really was not feeling a drink so I told her I would meet them at Al Arez for a nice little smoke. And I did. A nice relaxed smoke with some hoummus and some lebanese people. Awesome. Nothing like any other night I've had in London.....riiiiight. I just enjoy it so much :)

Tuesday. With this energy still buzzing inside me I headed off to work. A little late because my boss decided we didn't want to start until 11. So that was nice :) Work. Home. Gym. Dinner. And then I got dressed and went to Stanhope with everyone - drew, shahar, bella, vanessa, erin. We were all dressed in our finest for the debauchery to follow (vanessa's last night in London). We decided to go from there to Sports Cafe, where the drinks are cheap and the humans are drunk. Gotta love a tuesday night special. So we got to Sports Cafe and had planned to meet Jay and Juan there. Ali had asked me earlier what we were doing and I told him. I did not, however, expect him to actually show up :/ He is starting to slightly get on my nerves. But whatever. The rest can deal with him. I just wanted to get my drink, pong, and dance on. And we did. For hours. And it was lovely :) double shot drinks for 2.50 pounds? Goodbye liver and good sense. If there was a way to get this crazy energy out of me that would have been it. But there isn't. We stayed there until around 2 and then headed back home nicely buzzing and I would venture so far as to say content. We took the night bus back and passed out.

Wednesday was another lovely day at work - and yes, I almost fell asleep at my desk. But we have Melpomeni's event tonight so there was oh so much to do! I spent the day updating databases, doing publishing records for the Baebes' albums and dealing with press stuff for Pom's album launch for the next day. Every time we read a new review for the album it was great so we started getting really excited. Pom called the office practically ecstatic. Things are finally going well for her and I can hardly think of someone more deserving. After work I went home and went to the gym. One of the trainers made fun of me (the same one that caught me when I nearly fell off a bench doing weighted step ups...did I tell you guys about that? Oh well yah). It was funny at first - he was basically sarcastically making fun of me for lifting weights and being a little person. And lots of girls lift so I dunno what his problem was. He kept being all "Oh don't break the machine with all that power" "do a few more reps you make it look so easy" And then after about an hour of this it was no longer funny. I wanted to punch him in the face. I got on the treadmill, ran, got off, told him he was an asshole, and left. It was pretty liberating. So then I headed back to the Crofton, made dinner, showered, and got dressed. Shahar Radhika night, WAY overdue :) I love hanging out with this girl. I can tell her anything I'm thinking. I don't have to censor around her at all. I don't have to have a "politeness" or "politically correct" filter in. I can be my own opinionated, foul mouthed, some say outrageous self and she doesn't really care. She just joins in with it :) We - of course - went to Stanhope to hang out with Paul (Tony has been mia for the past couple of days...) and lo and behold WHO had returned from Spain? DENNIS! looking pale as ever, you would have thought this boy would have gotten some sun but nooooope. We drank a few pints there, chatted with our favorite bartenders, watched a rather rowdy man take off his shirt (It was a wednesday night. Geez.) He also had a tramp stamp. Yes. He. had a tramp stamp. We left Stanhope and told Paul and Dennis to meet us to smoke sheisha when they were done closing up at the sheisha place near where they live. Paul had plans but Dennis met up with us later. A nice relaxing end to a pretty good (liberating) day. But I still have that energy buzz.

Tonight is Pom's launch party. At work. So excited. And since I will be partying with her into the wee hours of the morning, Julia has given me tomorrow off work. Which means my Friday will consist of gym, pack, PARIS. That's right, Jen, Bella, and I are going to go brave the world of Paris: wine food and men. Just us three girls. This will be amazing. No question. Can't wait :) Okkkaaay. time to go finish up final details for this thing tonight and then go party like never before. Dennis brought Absinthe back from Spain and is giving me and Shahar a bottle of it....like I said. Party like never before. This might just get insane. I'll let you guys know :)

Radhi